Mr Mom
by Yoko Black
Summary: Draco lost his job and now has to watch his kids while searching for a new one. Easy enough. Right? "Mr. Mom" by Lonestar


**Title: Mr. Mom**

**By: Yoko Black**

**Rating: T**

**Genre: Humor**

**Summery: Draco lost his job and now has to watch his kids while searching for a new one. Easy enough. Right? **_**"Mr. Mom"**_** by Lonestar**

**Disclaimer: I own neither song nor characters. I gotta get a better disclaimer.**

**Mr. Mom**

_Lost my job and came home mad. Got a hug and a kiss and that's too bad. She said I can go to work until you find another job. I thought I like that sound of that. Watch T.V. and take long naps. Go from a hard working dad to being Mr. Mom._

Draco grumbled as he walked up to the walk and opened the front door to the house he shared with Harry and their three children. He had a particularly bad day at work and wanted to have a glass of Scotch before Harry returned with the kids from the Burrow.

Walking into his house he went to his study and got his Scotch and a glass. Taking them to the living room he sat on a chair and waited for Harry to arrive. Padfoot, their black Labrador, wagged his tail at Draco and curled up around his feet.

The living room was small with a couch, chair, book case, grandfather clock, and a Muggle television. Harry had insisted on adding some Muggle devices to make things easier on them and later entertain the kids with all the programs on the television, and in the movies they bought. Draco had to admit that some of the movies Harry buys are interesting.

He was on his third glass when Harry returned with the kids, eighteen month old Lily in his arms. Six year old Cain and two year old James ran into the house and went immediately to the broom shed.

"Cain, watch your brother on the brooms," called after Harry as he set Lily in the play pen. It was then he noticed Draco. "Draco, you're home early." He saw the Scotch on the table next to him. "Bad day?"

Draco nodded. He only drank Scotch on a bad day. When he and Harry were entertaining guests they offered wine or bourbon. Sometimes Harry would buy Muggle beer and they would drink that in the evenings. Both never got really drunk, not with the kids around.

"I got fired," he said and took a sip.

"Oh, God, Draco, I'm sorry," said Harry. He went over and took his hand. "What happened?"

"I had it coming. The boss didn't like the idea that someone younger then he was better at Potion making."

Harry rubbed Draco's shoulders. "Well, you were trained by the best."

"That's another thing. He said Severus made a mistake in choosing me as his pupil."

"That bas…jerk," Harry said remembering that Lily was in the room.

"I decked him."

Harry chuckled. "And Hermione said _I_ had anger issues. " Draco chuckled as well. "This is good through. I was having trouble finding a babysitter."

"I thought we _had_ a babysitter. What's wrong with Molly?"

"She's going to Romania to met Charlie's girlfriend. She'll be there for two weeks. I tried Hermione, but she's got work and Ron's getting ready for the end of the semester. And I don't think you want them with the other Weasley members."

"Oh, no. One's crazy, one's a workaholic, and the other two are gypsies. I'll watch them till Molly gets back."

Harry smiled and kissed Draco, which the blonde gratefully returned. Down the hall there was a crash, crying, and Cain yelling, "James did it!"

Harry smiled. "I'll go see what it's about." He kissed Draco on the head before going to find out what their sons had gotten into. Draco turned to Lily. She laughed as she played with a baby whack-a-mole game, her head of blonde curls bouncing and her bright green eyes looked at her second father.

"Looks like it's just you and me," said Draco. Lily giggled again and waved her hammer.

_Well, papers melt in a MagTag dryer. Crayons go up on drawer higher. Rewind Barney for the fifteenth time. Breakfast at six, naps at nine. There's bubblegum in the baby's hair. Sweet potatoes in my Laz-E chair. Been crazy all day long, and it's only Monday Mr. Mom_

The next morning Draco woke to the sound of Harry'salarm clock. Since Draco didn't have a job anymore he didn't bother to set his. And as he didn't have a job he was happy to sleep in.

"Harry, it's six," he said. "Why are you up?"

"Because the kids will be up soon," said Harry. "You better get up before they do. I'll make some coffee."

Draco grumbled and threw the covers over his head. A second later he felt something grab his ankle and he flew into the air to hang upside down.

"Harry Potter!"

"Not so loud, Malfoy," said Harry with a sneer, walking up to the blonde. "You want the kids to wake up early?" Standing in front of the upside down blonde he kissed Draco's cheek. "Now get up, sleepy." And with a flick of his wand Harry let Draco go and the blonde fell back onto the bed.

"Go ahead and shower if you want. I'll start breakfast."

Draco grumbled as he untangled himself from the bed sheets but with a smile on his face. Getting out of bed he went to the bathroom to shower.

When he got into the kitchen Lily and James were also awake, through still sleepy eyed. Both were in high chairs, James eating dried cereal and Lily scrambled eggs. Harry did mention Lily preferred eggs over anything else for breakfast lately. James' jet black hair was tussled with bed head and he was still rubbing sleep from his green eyes.

"Cain still in bed?" asked Draco as he went to the counter to get his breakfast.

"Thankfully," said Harry. "That boy is such a troublemaker."

Draco chuckled at his husband's statement. Like James, Cain was identical to Draco in miniature. "He gets it from you," he said, sitting at the table with his cereal and coffee. Lily noticed her second father and squealed happily.

"Papa!" she squealed which earned her a ruffled head.

"He gets it from both of us," said Harry. "I seem to remember you were quite a troublemaker as well." Draco smirked but said nothing. "I have some things for you to do today. I usually go shopping, but I want you to do it. I left the list on the counter."

"All right," said Draco as Cain walked in, his blonde hair wild and rubbing sleep from his grey eyes.

"Cain has football later and Teddy's birthday is tomorrow, can you make a cake for him?"

"I guess," said Draco, unsure of what to do. He had never made a cake before.

An hour later Harry left Draco with the three awake kids, Cain not having to go to school on a weekend, and instructions for the day.

"All you have to do is read the instructions on the back," he said. "It isn't hard. It's kinda like Potion making."

After Harry Disapparated Draco turned to his children.

"All right," he said. "Let's play."

James and Cain cheered and ran inside while Draco carried Lily in. Setting her in her play pen he put on one of her favorite children's movies and went to make the cake. Harry had been right. It was a lot like Potion making. He poured the ingredients together and used the electric beater like Harry showed him, put it in a cake pan, set the oven, and put it in. After cleaning up he went to check on his sons.

He found James in his room coloring the coloring books Hermione gave him on her last visit. The boy loved to draw.

"James, where is your brother?" asked Draco. James shrugged and continued to color. Sighing Draco placed the gate up to keep James in his room and went to find his eldest.

After looking in the Cain's room, the kitchen, library, master bedroom and both bathrooms he found Cain in the laundry room having just closed the door to the dryer and turned the machine on.

"Cain, what did you do," called Draco, pulling his son away and turning off the machine.

"I was trying to dry your paper, Papa," said Cain. Cain had spilled his juice all over Draco's copy of the _Daily Prophet_ and Draco had gotten a little mad at the boy. Harry soothed Draco's anger before it went out of hand and Cain had blubbered something about fixing Papa's paper.

Draco opened the dryer door to find a wad of melted newspaper.

"Oh, Cain," groaned Draco. Cain looked apologetically at his father. Then the smoke alarm went off. "Aw shit!" And he ran to the kitchen.

"Bad word, Papa," said Cain.

_Football, soccer, and ballet, squeeze in scouts and PTA, and there's that shopping list she left that's seven pages long. How much smoke can one stove make? The kids won't eat my charcoal cake. It's more then any man can take, being Mr. Mom._

After the burnt cake incident, he had taken the boys and Lily outside to play a Muggle game of monkey-in-the-middle with a Muggle football with James in the middle while Lily looked on from her playpen that had been set outside. Padfoot, jumped around trying to catch the ball. Cain had thrown the ball a little too hard and broke the window. Draco didn't get mad but calmly repaired the window and suggested a game of Hand Snitch between the boys, who readily agreed.

When a slight rainstorm made them head inside an argument over the issue on who would have the T.V. first till Draco said they would share. Meanwhile Draco looked over the shopping list Harry had left him. When they first married Harry wanted to show Draco his world, so he took Draco everywhere in Muggle London and answered all of the wizards questions as best he could and taught Draco how to use Muggle money. Draco enjoyed the outings he had with Harry, but both preferred being at home.

"Papa, I have football practice," said Cain. And indeed he was dressed in his football uniform and cleats.

Draco nodded and began to get the other two ready to go. When Draco and Harry decided to have children Harry insisted they attend a Muggle school till they were accepted into Hogwarts. Draco argued at first but finally gave in, not wanting his children to have the same views toward Muggles and Muggle-born as he had. With Harry's help Draco encouraged his children to interact with Muggles, but cautioned them on telling no one that they were wizards. So far, they had managed to keep the secret.

After getting Lily and James into their Muggle clothes, he wore a blue button down shirt and blue jeans, and went to take Cain to football. Draco politely greeted the coach, said good-bye to Cain, checking the time he would have to pick him up and went to the store. He placed both Lily and James in the cart and looked over the list Harry gave him.

"We need all this stuff," he asked himself.

"Papa, can me and Lily have some candy?" asked James.

"Can Lily and I have some candy," corrected Draco. "That is the proper way to ask for something."

"Can Lily and I have some candy," asked James again correctly.

"Lily's too young to have candy. And you may, if you behave."

James nodded and sat down in the cart. While he tried his best to behave, Lily was intent on being a troublemaker. She wanted to pick up everything, the food, her brother, Draco, whatever was in the cart or on the shelf.

"Lily, please stop," said Draco, taking away a box for what seemed like the fiftieth time.

"Hey, Lily, wanna play a game," asked James and proceeded to play a Muggle hand game. Draco thought it was called "Patty Cake." Then James did Muggle nursery rhymes. By the time Draco was done shopping both were fast asleep. He did buy James a candy bar for helping out his father.

After putting the groceries away and picking up Cain, Draco was thankful to sit down.

_Well, papers melt in a MagTag dryer. Crayons go up on drawer higher. Rewind Barney for the sixteenth time. Breakfast six, naps at nine. There's bubblegum in the baby's hair. Sweet potatoes in my Laz-e chair. Been crazy all say long, and it's only Monday, Mr. Mom._

When three o'clock came Draco got Lily and James ready for their nap. James, after a drink of juice and turning on his music box, fell asleep after only a few minutes. Lily was harder to convince. Harry had told him the trick was to not argue with her and to put on a lengthy children's movie with a cup of juice. When she finally did get to sleep Draco's upper body was also asleep. He placed her in her crib and started the chores Harry wanted him to do.

Draco was amazed at how much a mess three children could make. He found not only toys on the floor but broccoli and peas in Orion's food dish and gum stuck under the coffee table. Draco would have been angry at them if he didn't remember they were just children. Besides, he knew most were because of Cain, his little troublemaker.

Both babies woke after a two hour nape and in time for a snack, which Draco had ready for them. His day after that was less complicated.

When they woke Draco attempted to entertain his kids. James had out a box of crayons and a pad of paper in front of him. Lily entertained herself with her toys and movies while Cain was playing with Padfoot. Draco had left to change the wash when he returned and the wall looked like the photographs Harry showed him of cave drawings. James was trying to wipe off the pictures while Lily cried on the floor.

"James, what happened," asked Draco.

"I thought Lily wanted to color," he said. "I gave her a crayon and paper but she colored the wall instead." He started to tear up. "I'm sorry, Papa."

Draco smiled down at him. "It's all right, James. I'm not mad." And picking up Lily he put her in her play pen and helped James clean up.

_Before I fall in bed tonight, if the dog didn't eat the classifieds, I'm gonna look just one more time._

When Harry got home and saw the burnt cake, he simply smile and kissed Draco on the cheek. "It's all right," he said. "I burnt my first cake too." So Harry was the one who baked the cake and sent it to Teddy to Hogwarts, with a card from the family. Draco gratefully sat in his chair since the kids were having their second nap and Cain was outside playing Hand Snitch.

"How was your day," asked Harry setting his cloak and robes on the coat rack.

"I don't know how you and Molly do it each day" said Draco.

Harry laughed. "It's called experience, love. You'll get used to it."

Draco chuckled. "I don't know if I can."

Cain, hearing Harry come in, bounded into the room with the toy Snitch in his hand.

"I caught it, Daddy," he said. "I caught the Snitch!"

Harry picked him up. "That's great, Cain. You'll be a Seeker yet."

"And an Auror and Potion's master," said Cain looking at Draco. "I wanna be like both my daddies."

"That'll be a pretty big job," said Draco. "I don't think you can do it."

"Yes, I can," said Cain, his face slightly red. "I'll be the best."

Both parents laughed and began a tickling war with their son that Padfoot joined in. James and Lily woke and Harry and Draco played with them outside. By the time a storm rolled in everyone was tired and went back inside.

"I heard that Hogwarts is looking for a new Potions professor. One that could actually tell the difference between snake skin and boomslang skin."

"And of course you want me to consider it," said Draco taking a sip of his coffee.

"That sounds like a good idea, love," said Harry smiling at Draco the blonde gave his husband a mock sneer. Both only used endearments when they were playing around, or in bed.

"I'll take it."

"I'll send Athena to Ron tomorrow," said Harry. "He'll ask Headmistress McGonagall."

They had just settled in when Padfoot jumped onto the bed and settled between them. A flash of lighting and a crack of thunder sent their three kids, Cain carrying Lily, and jumping up on their parents' bed. Harry and Draco settled the children between them, Padfoot at their feet.

_Well, papers melt in a MagTag dryer, crayons go up one drawer higher. Rewind Barney for the eighteenth time. Breakfast six, names at night. There's bubblegum in the baby's hair. Sweet potatoes in my Laz-e chair. Been crazy all day long. Oh, been crazy all day long, and it's only Monday Mr. Mom_

_Balancing check books, juggling bills. Thought there was nothing to it. Baby, now I know how you feel. What I don't know is how you do it._

"Harry, you're my hero."

**End**

**I have to say out of all my stories so far I had the most fun writing this one. If any of you heard the **_**Mr. Mom**_** song then you would know why. I hope you have enjoyed reading this as I have had writing it. **

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